When I was doing my counseling assessment the other morning (was it yesterday? it feels so far away) I was asked about my support structures. Do I have any? Do I talk about my problems with anyone?

At first I said no, no I don't and I was shocked at this realisation. I sort of gasped as I explained that there was nobody in my real life that I speak my real and honest truth too. I joke about putting on weight and being a whale, or not having confidence to talk to boys, but I don't share honesty behind those self depreceting statments.
And then I went, no, hang on. I do tell people...I write on my blog.

As soon as the words came out I know that must of sounded a bit hokey. So I elaborated. I have a blog you see, that I write in and tell a lot of private things to. I talk about my eating disorder on a blog and I have a lot of people that write to me back and tell me to keep trying and to believe in myself.
I don't think you guys out there even know what a life line you are when you write to me. The other week? when I flipped out and wanted to hide under a rock and not share anymore and then I had a moment in the doctor's surgery and there was nobody else I could have told but write it up on this forum? I had so many nice emails and so many supportive comments. You kind of dont' appreciate what you have sometimes until you leave. Those words really mean a lot to me. You guys mean a lot to me.

I'm crossing into hokey, but I feel very sincere about this. This blog helps me. The people who read it and then write to tell me they've read it, help me. I tell the truth on here. It's kind of a big deal to me.

thank you.